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A Seizure Cycle or One Complete Fog
What used to be a typical week in my life living with Epilepsy by Julie Hope
Everything in this world has its up’s and downs and so did my
Epilepsy Grand Mal Seizures. With the help of witnesses I will do my best
to describe it here for you. I am not going to attempt to quote any
dates, as those are all a blur, they just happened and that period of my life
is now gone.
Even though, as I now know, I had every type of seizure possible but the basic pattern
remained the same. The other seizures just fit nicely where they could.
For a lot of years the main seizure was a grand mal for the most part just
before waking in the morning. As these were so frequent and took over my
whole life and being, the other seizures we thought were just signs or possible
warnings of one about to come. Little did we know they were in fact a
separate type of seizure?
- For two or three days before a grand mal
seizure, it was what I called my hyper period. I just had to get
everything done in short order and was found trying to multi-task everything I
laid my hands on. It was almost as if that little voice outside me was
‘Julie you best get everything done you want now, as you will be out of
commission for the next few days’. Near the end of that three day period
even the speech would get quicker and quicker until the very end when there
would be 3-4 subjects injected all in one sentence. This of course made
perfect sense to me but not to the other person. Why did it make perfect
sense to me? I was still in a hurry to get it all done and it was as if
the mind was now going at hurricane rate.
- As the speech gets faster, there was a
short period of being ‘giddy’. I am not sure why this is, possibly
because I wanted to be happy, maybe I thought it was funny that the other
person was looking at me so strange, or maybe it was once again the brain in
hurry up speed got a laugh out of moving so fast. It would be during this
time when there would be other types of seizures slip in as well. With
everything a total blur, it didn’t bother me; it was almost as if I were in ‘la
la land’ or somewhere on another planet by now. A total fog!!
- Usually by the time the ‘giddy’ period
and other seizures started to come, should my husband be there at the time,
this was when he knew it time to get me to bed. At least there I would be
safe, and all he had to do was, wait. This part I have no recollection of
at all during these seizures. My hubby would tell me after he knew I was
or wasn’t going to have one depending on my sleep routine. Should I fall
asleep peacefully, things were usually ok. If I squirmed around
continuously, and eventually calmed down in a more relaxed fetal position,
tonight was the night. It was always a sure thing also, should I sleep
with one arm above my head.
- The Grand Mal would hit just before
sunrise. It would be total unconsciousness, with massive throwing around
of my arms and legs. My husband sometimes joked about it ‘if I were in a
boxing ring I could have taken on the worlds champion at that time’. I
guess he has got hit a few times and knows the blow. This is where the
sore muscles come in after and possibly one reason for the awful
migraine/headaches afterwards. Immediately following the seizure it is
best to have all noise turned down and the room made as dark as possible, give
me a blanket (which I usually threw over my head maybe as a sense of
protection) and just leave me be. The rest will take care of itself.
- Now comes the recovery period.
There may be cuts, for sure a swollen tongue or bit lip, sore muscles were a given,
migraine and possible vomiting were a for sure thing. I would not be
aware of where I was, what just happened, or even who I was much less who you
were. Very gradually I would come back to what was normal for me,
but that took another couple days if not more. It was one big chore to
remember why I had just gone to the kitchen, or had a load of clothes in my
hands and what was I going to do with them. One way of trying to figure
it out was to shake my head as if only I could get all those cob-webs out of
there things would look more familiar.
- Gradually I arrived back at what was
normal for me, and that is a time you don’t want to experience. It was
not a long period, possibly only a day but that was enough. The cob-webs
had partially gone, it still felt like my head was full of cotton balls, but
after living on another planet looking down on earth, I shouldn’t be
complaining. During this period is when depression had time to slip
in. Why? The mind is now just a little clearer and you being
thinking all kinds of things that, at the time are so real to you. ‘Why
doesn’t anyone listen to me?’ ‘I know I can’t drive but I sure would like
to’, ‘I use to hold down a good job, these people must sure be stupid not to
recognize all the great skills I have. And the list goes on and on.
This period of the Seizure Cycle only lasted a day or so
where rock-bottom was hit and the cycle would begin all over. All this
time was in held in some rate of fog. Some days the fog was just a little
thicker than others.
A normal foggy day outside you have no control over.
This fog there was something I could do and we did it. Finally one day
for some unknown reason, perhaps it was the drug change, I went into
remission. No more seizures BUT I was still a walking ghost. I
would not be able to tell you my name if you asked, I knew my hubby had some
connection to me but do not ask me his name either as I would have no answer to
give but a either a fake smile or a nod. It was almost like I was in the
biggest hangover possible. What was happening and no seizures we were all
happy, but was this the way we were to be expected to live out the rest of our
lives. No feelings, no worries, the way it would feel when you are just
going under anesthesia. The feeling of one foot on earth the other on
some other planet.
It is no wonder as by this time I was now on a whole ‘shoe
box full of drugs’. Every kind shape and color you could think of I had
it. Keeping track of the time to take and which ones was something that I
did not do well. The short term memory was gone completely, now what
causes all this? It could be and is the seizures yes, but what about all
the Anti-Epilepsy Drugs.
My daughter also experienced Grand Mal Seizures for several days. After learning about the herbs etc. that trigger seizures and consulting her doctor, he put her on a new timed released medication and her life is now normal. We are so grateful!!
For more information contact brenda.bailey.1@hotmail.com
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